AAAAAAAAAHHHH- WE’RE ALL GONNA DIEEEEEEE!

Not really. Well, we are SOME day, but I’m pretty sure we’re not all going to collapse into a black hole on Wednesday.

Have you heard about this? The Large Hadron Collider at CERN (the biiiiig atomic accelamarator thinger that runs under France and Switzerland) is ready to roll. If all goes well, the scientists there will be re-creating conditions similar to those that were around about a billionth of a second* after the Big Bang. There’s a chance that itty-bitty black holes could be created, and people are freaking out because they think we’re all going to be swallowed up. NOOOOOOES!

I’m not worried. These holes are gonna be way smaller than a single atom, and they’re going to blink out of existence as quickly as they appear. And if I’m wrong, this message will be destroyed, and there will be no proof that I was wrong. HAHAHAHAHA!

Why am I telling you this? Because I’m very excited, that’s why. Not about the possibility (however remote) of the world ending. Not even because I’m enthralled by the beauty of the sub-atomic particles and blah, blah, blah. I’m excited because I know what the hell they’re talking about.

I picked up this book while I was at the cottage called “Masters of Time- How Wormholes, Snakewood and Assaults on the Big Bang Have Brought Mystery Back to the Cosmos”, by John Boslough. To be quite honest, it’s not the easiest book I’ve ever read. There have been many times while I’ve been reading it when I’ve probably looked like a cocker spaniel contemplating the internal combustion engine, and I figure I’m doing well if I understand half of what I’m reading. That said, it’s interesting stuff. The amount of what scientists are working with that’s entirely theoretical (and completely un-disprovable) is astounding, and the fact that there are people who come up with these theories based on math, of all things… well, like I said, I don’t understand it, but I’m gaining an appreciation for it, anyway.

I’m still working on that book**.  It makes me happy when I read words like “hadron” and “boson” and “positron” and know what the heck people are talking about… sort of. Like that poor, confounded dog going, “Oooh, so the shiny thing moves, and it makes the other thing go!”, I can’t claim I really understand it. I’m not stupid, but I am out of practice. My brain has been atrophying over these last few years of speaking mainly in 3-word sentences and inhaling toxic diaper fumes, and I didn’t done gots no time fer edumacation, y’all.

Yeah, I’ll pick that right back up after I go watch Dora (God help me!) with the kids and do some dishes… and laundry… and figure out what’s for suppers this week… oh, the expanding that my mind is a-doing. Wooo… hoo.

 

*For the record, I am entirely incapable of understanding increments of time this small, and I don’t know how they figure this stuff out, anyway. I’m taking their word for it, keeping in mind that it’s all theoretical at this point…

**I took a break to read “Twilight” and “New Moon”- you know, parts 1 and 2 of the vampire love story series written for teenagers? Slightly less challenging stuff, but entertaining.

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